Kansas City Star Feature

By Patrick Neas of the Kansas City Star

Violinist Destiny Ann Mermagen was certainly given an appropriate name. It was her destiny to overcome a childhood marred by physical, emotional and sexual abuse and an unhappy time spent pursuing a musical career on the East Coast, as well as debilitating bouts of pain and depression that almost made her give up music altogether. Now this self-described “classical cowgirl” finds herself in Kansas City with her husband, where she is helping young people with their music careers and providing hope and inspiration for those suffering from physical pain and depression with a YouTube channel that has caught the attention of superstar violinist Hilary Hahn.

So why did her parents name her Destiny?

“You would think that there would be an exciting story, but my parents were just big hippies and loved the idea of the name Destiny,” she said. “I was expecting some grand story that they had great visions for my life that I would have to live up to, but nope.”

Mermagen’s story is rather grand, however. When she was born in Texas, her parents were millionaires.  “I have pictures from when I was a baby and a limousine picked me up from the airport,” Mermagen said. “By the time I was 2, they went bankrupt, and that’s how we ended up as a typical middle class family.” 

Mermagen says that her father was in the oil business, but ended up going to prison for fraud. She moved to Montana with her mother to live on her grandparents’ ranch. It was there that she developed a taste for the cowgirl lifestyle and music.“I rode horses,” she said. “I was actually a cowgirl. I grew things in the dirt. That’s when I really started hearing folk music. My grandpa would sing and play guitar and play harmonica, and my grandma played a little piano.”

When Mermagen’s father got out of prison, the family moved to Rapid City, South Dakota. That’s where Mermagen had a musical epiphany in the third grade.

“The local junior high school orchestra came and played fiddle tunes and Disney music for us,” Mermagen said. “It was a really exciting day for me. They played ‘The Pink Panther,’ which I thought was the coolest thing ever, and they also did ‘Hoe Down’” by Aaron Copland.

After going to an instrument petting zoo, Mermagen decided she wanted to play the violin. Her mother bought her an instrument, and during the summer she taught herself to play, although she didn’t realize she was playing it backward. “I had it on the wrong shoulder,” she said. “On the first day of fourth grade class, I said I was the only one who knew how to hold it correctly. Of course, I demonstrated and I was backward and the joke was on me.”

But Mermagen’s childhood on the ranch in Montana and studying music in Rapid City was not totally idyllic. “I was growing up in a chaotic and violent environment,” she said. “Both my parents were alcoholics, and when they were drinking, they became physically and emotionally abusive toward each other and toward me. When I grew up on the farm, I had an older cousin who was physically and sexually abusive.”

For Mermagen, music was her lifeline, helping her deal with her turbulent emotions. “If I hadn’t found music, I don’t know what would have happened to me,” Mermagen said. “I don’t think I would have turned out the way I turned out. A lot of people who have tragic upbringings end up with a lot of mental health issues in their later years. I think I could have ended up as one of those dropouts from school who do drugs on the street, but I really think music pulled me away from all of that.”

Mermagen plunged herself into music, and after going on a school trip to see Gil Shaham play a Bartók violin concerto, she decided to make music her life.

She has performed all around the United States and Europe, recorded two albums, conducted master classes and has won international competitions and performance awards. For 15 years, she worked in Washington, D.C., where she received a master’s degree in music on full scholarship. It was also in D.C. that she met her husband. “But I was getting really homesick for the Midwest,” Mermagen said. “Being in D.C. for 15 years was kind of a lot. Everyone’s really cranky there.”

Destiny stepped in when Mermagen’s husband received a call from the University of Missouri-Kansas City’s Conservatory of Music and Dance, asking if he would be interested in teaching cello. He checked out the school and the city, and was sold. He was convinced his wife would be as well. “I actually didn’t visit Kansas City before we decided to move,” Mermagen said. “My husband was so impressed and I was so ready to leave the East Coast that it just seemed like the perfect opportunity.”

Both were stunned by the musical opportunities in Kansas City and impressed by the friendliness of the people. “We would go into the grocery store to get a snack and people would smile at us instead of flipping us off,” Mermagen said.

After moving here in 2017 and spending a few months settling in, Mermagen started making connections, including a special one with Will Breytspraak, director of music at Village Presbyterian.They discovered that they had both lived in the same neighborhood in Washington and that they both share a birthday, and a fast friendship was formed. Mermagen now conducts regular programs at Village, which include recitals that give young musicians a chance to perform with professionals.

But physical and mental health concerns continued to plague Mermagen in Kansas City. “I was diagnosed with chronic health issues that afflict the nervous system and also fibromyalgia, which I didn’t think was real until I was diagnosed with it,” Mermagen said. “I had a lot of pain and I couldn’t play violin. I was losing my mind. I thought I’m going to be in pain the rest of my life and never play the violin again.”

Luckily, she found a doctor who helped her with her physical ailments. But she was also suffering from a serious case of depression. “Then I heard about this treatment, TMS, transcranial (magnetic) stimulation,” Mermagen said. “It’s basically the same thing as a brain scan, an MRI. They use that technology at an even lower dose of magnetization and they target the region in your brain where depression resides. It wakes up the neural pathways that fell asleep, the ones that are supposed to make you happy.”

Mermagen says she is feeling happy now, and she’s also feeling physically well enough to play the violin “without falling over.” She shares her struggles with her physical and mental health on her extensive YouTube channel. She feels it’s her obligation to let those who have similar struggles know they’re not alone. World-renowned violinist Hilary Hahn has taken note. “She was really sweet about sharing my videos,” Mermagen said. “I’d show some videos of where I’d have to practice sitting down because I couldn’t stand for a long time. It was cool how supportive Hilary was. She’s actually speaking via Zoom at a violin camp I’m hosting in a couple of weeks.”

For her June 17 recital, Mermagen says she and pianist Tessman will perform two “very happy” sonatas by Beethoven and Mozart and selections from Mermagen’s CD “Bach to Barn Burners.” You can be sure the classical cowgirl will play some fiddle tunes, and maybe she’ll be wearing her cowgirl boots. “I have a collection,” Mermagen said. “I have over 40 pairs that I’ve collected for decades. I’m the Imelda Marcos of cowgirl boots.”